My over-thinking mind

After overthinking and procrastinating for almost 2 years, today I am writing my first post. To be frank, I am terrified, and my overthinking mind has already figured out all possible things that can go wrong and how it will crash everything that I have in my life. But sometimes you have to switch off your inner self and do what you have to do.

In this age of Technology, Social media and information overdose our mind is overloaded with all kind of stuff, from how to make more money, to how to be more calm and healthy. Everyone is fighting their own war and the most challenging of all fights is the fight with yourself, your thoughts, your very own amazing mind. Personally, I feel this fight drains most of my mental energy, the limited energy which, if directed to a correct channel can do wonders. This article is my attempt to write down my feelings and try to channel my energy in a more ideal way.

Comparing myself to myself 10 years ago, when I was a shy, scared boy that was overthinking all his decisions, I have made good process in life. I have a stable career with a relatively good salary (you never have enough), where I am able to perform reasonably well, people trust me with my work and I am among people who challenge me and help me grow. I have a very caring and selfless wife who always tries to make me happy and a family who is very caring and kind, I have a group of friends who are awesome and have made me learn things that I would have only dreamed of when I was in college. I have traveled cities, seen places, and done activities that most people have seen only in dreams or even not there and have a lot of stories around it. To summarize everything, I am living a life that I had not even imagined when I was young.

But here is the problem, I still overthink, I am not contained, I don't appreciate the things that are already there in my life. I always tend to look for something more, always running towards something. And when I achieve that something, my beautiful mind always goes back to all the decisions I had made during the process and overthink and overanalyze each one of them to make me feel, I choose something wrong and how everything is going end bad. Things would have been better if I would have chosen this job. Things would have been better if I had not bought XYZ and saved money and many other similar trivial decisions. All those small decisions literally had a very small impact.

To be frank, if I look back into my life, it is all my choices that had made me what I am and still, I cannot appreciate my decisions. My mind still keeps reminding me, it could have been better if you had chosen this or that with no certainty of what would have happened then. I am very sure, even if I had made some other decision, I would be wondering what would have happened, if I had chosen this life and that's the funny part of all this.

These thoughts always make me keep struggling with myself and never let me have mental peace but I also feel that some of these thoughts help me grow as a person and as an individual. However, now I can feel that my thoughts are going more towards negative sentiments and this struggle is stopping me from doing things that I really wanted to do. This constant overthinking and overanalyzing is preventing me from having a genuine experience. I need to make my mind appreciate things happening in my life and stop worrying about how things can go wrong.

Via this article and with series of future articles, I will try to talk to my inner me and my mind, on how we should work together towards a more rich life filled with an amazing experience, emotions, and adventure. There will always be challenges in life and goals in life but goals and challenges are not life, life is all about the experience, both good and bad.

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